What Happened to Me?

How could this face ever be in the evil mouse army?

     This past weekend was interesting. Saturday was cloudy and rainy and filled with movies, dance classes, homemade soup, and The Nutcracker rehearsal and Sunday was the day I realized I'm no longer a teenager and my body is done trying to pretend it is.

She's also an angel. The duality is quite fitting

     The day started off with beautiful weather and me excited about a trip to Magic Mountain. My bf's dad invited us and since I hadn't been to Magic Mountain in about 10 years I nervous but ready to ride some crazy coasters. We started off strong on X2, the absolute most insane roller coaster I've ever been on, Revolution, and Tatsu, another death defying feat of engineering. They were crazy, thrilling, and scream inducing but after just three rides I was out.

Tatsu. Yes, you free fall head first while you pray that your harness holds.

     My head was throbbing, my stomach was in my throat, and I just wanted to take a nap somewhere nice and quiet, which is impossible at Six Flags. Instead, I popped Advil, continued to feel terrible, and followed the group from ride to ride to sit out on the sidelines and feel like the ultimate party pooper. In my mind all I could think was "Who are you? You've never been the girl who sits out with a headache. Pull yourself together and rally." Then I realized "Oh yeah it's been 10 years since you've done this and your body has changed a hell of a lot. Remember, you can't even read in the car any longer without getting a headache. What did you expect riding a bunch of head jerking roller coasters back to back? A relaxing head massage?" I did manage to rally for Collossus, one of my absolute favorites, laughing and screaming the whole ride, but after that I really was done. All I could think about was the long car ride home and how I didn't want to puke in the car. The car ride was marked by a nap. Yep, I was able to pass out at 3:30 in the afternoon and you know what? That was fine with me.

X2-sending up another prayer about harness strength.

     Even with the headache and nausea I had a fun time because I enjoyed what I was able to and I realized that I'm more than alright with no longer trying to keep up with teenagers. They will always be younger and more energetic but they will never have the level head and self-acceptance that I have. As my grandma always says "Age is just a number, it's your state of mind that matters." Besides, I'm too busy to worry about competing with the youth. Not only do I have a family, job, and social life to balance but I've got to focus on bigger battles now, like the fact that I slowly seem to be metamorphosing into my mom.

Osama bin Laden is Dead

     The US government has announced that Osama bin Laden is dead and that they are in custody of the body. When I first saw mention of it on FB I was shocked and skeptical, that maybe it was just internet gossip. After quickly verifying the news on CNN.com I must say I don't know what to say.

     Like most Americans I remember exactly where I was when the planes hit the World Trade Center, at an early morning screening for a clinical study on asthma. When I heard the news on the radio I couldn't even digest it. World changing events like that have always been difficult for me to grasp. I see the images, I hear the words, and yet my body and mind are frozen trying to process and react to it all. 

    To me it is hands down the hardest change to accept about becoming an adult. The world is no longer just a word referring abstractly to everything/everyone/every place outside of your own sphere of existence. You become part of it all whether you're willing participant or not. The issues in the paper, on TV, on the radio, and argued over in D.C. and City Hall become your issues. You can't hide from what happens in this world. Sure you can hide under the covers just like when you were a kid but the boogeyman no longer disappears in the morning light.  

    Osama was just one of the many boogeymen running rampant through our thoughts and fears and in the blink of an eye he was caught. So what do I think? How do I react?  I'm relieved that he is dead, that the man hunt is over, and that no troops were hurt in the operation but I'm also very wary of a dead man. Some dead men wield more might and power than they held in life and I'm afraid that Osama might be one of these men. Will a bigger more frightening boogeyman emerge from all this? I want to check under the bed and in the closet to see if he is gone but I'm afraid of what I might find.